Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Start Acting Like a Grownup

When you are in high school learning seems everybody's problem but your own. The evil Republican tax cutters and Democratic spendoholics ran off laughing together with your book money. Your parents are too busy with their two jobs (maybe three if your not white) apiece to help you with homework. Or else are spitting out welfare babies while applying to appear on Jerry Springer and simultaneously smoking unfiltered menthols and drinking a 40. Your teacher makes your average teamster look like coked up aerobics instructor with an IQ that rivals Stephen Hawkins, the speaking voice of James Earl Hones, and the charisma of a young Elvis (watch the damn tapes, or blue what you ma call it you young folks have--the man was a force of nature.)

All that falls away when you enter college. You are expected to buy your damn books (Don't be surprised if your professor requires her latest book for every class she teaches even the book is about Aliens and her class is about ancient Greece--true story. At least this little joy of college life might not hit you right away at city)

No matter what your mother your, pastor or David Horowitz has told you, no one really cares if your teacher is the second coming of Socrates or an alcoholic boy buggering madman. And if you ever plan to have any sort of an academic career you will see far more of the latter than the former. Higher education is mad mix of different ambitions and priorities and the education of students often doesn't even merit a mention.

In this respect City College is almost certainly going to be as good as it gets. At City College the pace is slow enough for the professors that if they chose they may dedicate far more thought and attention to the students than is remotely possible at a four year institution.

You are even almost certainly going to have ample access to your professor during office hours. In comparison when I took Cold War Presidents from Steven Ambrose, the man himself was organizing the draft Colin Powell for President campaign. We watched him through magic of the VHS Video Recorder Machine, as was the style at the time, and rarely but occasionally saw his hippie looking TA. And, believe me there was no question about his political leanings. Though to be fair he was never overbearing or abusive in any way.

But forget about being spoon fed the course content as you languidly while away the time at the Professor's feet. The best professors will assume that you have read the book and done the homework and will only touch on this material in reference to a student question or to clarify a particularly difficult point. The lecture will be completely different material only accessible to those who have prepared for class.

During my time at city there was only one instructor whose lectures completely removed any need to read the book. And, I left this class bitter at my wasted $150 and wasted time.

And while you don't have to worry as much about your ancient professor hitting on you as you once did. Short shorts might be worth a half a grade or at least it sure seemed so for boys in my German class (also not at city). And, the professors in general don't give a damn about your sensitive feelings whether you are tree hugging granola eating vegetarian lesbian too pure for actual physical displays of love or George Bush supporting bible thumping Wednesday church attending country music fan. And, if you are thinking it is going to be any better at the workplace you have some disappointments awaiting you upon graduation.

The key thing is that the teachers have what you want knowledge and grades that imply knowledge and any day you can get little of either without a tube of lube is a day you should be grateful. In your adult life you will find that sometimes the most useful information comes from the most surprising sources.

In one class the professor (this was a city) said he was going to discuss the relation of brain structure to homosexuality. Two, one would assume evangelical Christians, immediately left. What followed was thirty minutes of the most compelling arguments that homosexuality is maladaptive in humans that I have ever heard. I wasn't convinced but this not time to fight that fight. The point is that the students who left will almost certainly never get that chance again.

At City its all up to you and that's a good thing.






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